Why they hate us

Any Black woman can look into themselves and find an experience of misogyny, of hatred, involving a brother. No matter how deep it is buried, we remember. These experiences – rape, physical violence, name calling, slut shaming and street harassment - have made us experts in the management of Black male pain. We know how to soothe its symptoms, whether it be a smile, a decision to get off one stop early, to pretend we don’t understand our colleague’s sexual overtures or just lie there and take it.

“Any Black woman can look into themselves and find an experience of misogyny”

We have managed this pain because we believe we want too much as Black women. We know that the way we exist riles up anger in our men. We manage their pain because we think we deserve their anger for transgressing the codes of our community. We don’t respect tradition, we walk alone, we wear shorts, we drink alcohol, and we collect packages. We go to the post office and we collect packages. But collecting a package is not a reason to rape. There is no reasons to rape. Black men rape us because they hate us. Exploring this hatred is now a matter of life and death.

Black men hate us because they hate themselves. You can see it in their eyes, that hatred that seems to be targeted at you, it is actually the hatred radiating from within him. As Black people we blame ourselves for our circumstances. The myth of meritocracy has force fed us the lie that if you work hard, do a good job and read enough books you will overcome your circumstances. Meritocracy promotes the fallacy that despite colonial, economic and social history, individuals compete on an equal footing having earned their respective places in society. The lie of meritocracy leads us to blame our own Black bodies for the failure to work our way out of over 500 years of structural oppression.

“Black men rape us because they hate us. ”

The key difference between Black men and Black women when it comes to dealing with structural oppression is maleness. Black women are women so we know there is no one we can abuse as a means to process our reaction to an unequal world. We are the bottom of the pile. Black men are men. By virtue of their manhood, despite their Blackness, Black men have a patriarchal entitlement to control. Because they are Black men, the only people they can abuse are Black women. Black men are built to hate Black women.

It is imperative that Black men hate themselves and terrorise Black women. Black male terrorism, alongside white supremacy, colour blindness and neoliberal individualism are elements that keep Blacks within their designated place in society. A place where the unemployment rate is 39%, nine out of ten lives in poverty, and children languish in the world’s worst education systems. Whilst Black men attack ‘foreign’ shop holders, 68% of managers in South Africa are whites. Whilst Herman Mashaba stirs up xenophobic contempt, the DA pursues a policy of aggressive gentrification in Cape Town’s historically Coloured communities. Whilst Black women disappear within themselves to avoid rape, BBEEE policies are utilised to advance white women in the workplace. The rape and murder of Black women by Black men is cover for white supremacy. Black male violence towards Black women is a manifestation of self-hatred and an essential element of the structural domination of Black people.  

“ The rape and murder of Black women by Black men is cover for white supremacy. ”

I am not sure what Black men need to do to deal with their self-hatred. And quite frankly after the completion of this article it will no longer be my concern. My main worry is protecting myself within a society and culture that will assign me the position of just another one of those wretched Black girls in the event of my death at the hands of a Black man.

Black men, find your own new way.