Whiteness is cult
White supremacy is cult, it is a system of veneration directed at whiteness. The manner in which this cult is maintained is evident in how many white people denigrate and exclude others who are not party and in the way they try to control the behavior of other white people. For example, if ever a white person deals with black people civilly, that is treating them as equals, the culty whites will object and ex communicate them from the cult. I mean, I was in the club over the weekend. Flirting with all attractive people in sight, as I do, and one of the cute white boys was biting until his squad showed up and reminded him what the fuck is up. The cult of whiteness is not news in SA, it does not even grate me the way it used to, what does however, make me see red, lol, is how other races are still falling for it.
Black consciousness defined race politically, whereby ‘being black is not a matter of the colour of your skin but rather a mental attitude’, I don’t have the airtime to walk you through it but it is essential that all peoples of colour read Bantu Biko’s work and understand that it takes political unity between us to upend white supremacy. Now back to the pressing issues of sex and socializing. I just came from Cape Town, and was reminded of the anti-blackness permeating the slave city. I felt invisible to every man I spoke to, I felt eyes wander over my shoulder for someone more racially appropriate for sexual attention. Now I know myself, I am a natural beauty, and there is nothing about my appearance that approximates whiteness; I have short coiled hair, that I hate combing, wide hips and all the markings of an African person, of course there is mixing in my heritage but it does not show up as loose curly hair or fair skin. And despite growing up in the age of so called democracy I am still the last number to get laid in the country of my birth.
“I felt invisible to every man I spoke to, I felt eyes wander over my shoulder for someone more racially appropriate ”
Of course Johannesburg is another story, well almost. Light skinnded women are still way ahead of me in line to get the men they are attracted to no matter how toast they are. I mean, I see hotttttt black boys with basic light skinned or white women on a regular basis. And within the scene of clubs and bars and malls I spend time in, I am more likely to see an African man dating an Indian, White or Coloured person than an African woman doing so. And it genuinely upsets me because there are beautiful people of all colours, and I want the option to get with all of them. And how the hell can this happen while misogynoir persists? And the hatred of black women is not doled out equally, the fairer skinned and the half black amongst us have been set up to be the most attractive by western beauty standards and so many men of all races are falling for that shit. Honestly, I’m not mad at them, I’m mad that I’m not them. I’m mad that when I am with my Coloured or Indian friends other peoples of colour look at them like they’re lunatics for deigning to be seen with me. I’m mad that if I’m with a white male partner, people do double takes or assume he’s paying me because there’s no way it could be a normal person to person attraction. It must be a fetish or scam of some kind.
All this would get to me more if I never left South Africa but I do live here, and while it’s not like racism and colourism are not global issues, it is just way worse here. Seriously, South Africa has some of the highest rates of gender based violence on earth and it is mostly against black women and black girls. And on a social level, it is seems like many of the the established, well-educated black men I know seem to prefer white or light skinned people without reflection. My own brother told me he prefers Coloured women because they are ‘La Liga’ and Africans are ‘The PSL’. I mean it is hilarious, but it is also hurtful. He claims it’s because our mom is light skinned. I think it’s because he went to Kearsney.
Generalisations are tricky, I am doing everything I can to use the right words to describe this experience without discounting the relationships I’ve had with white and coloured men. Because I have had them. They are just anomalous, and when I look at the relationships around me I see more of what I am describing than anything else. And it drives me crazy because it speaks to how African women are treated and perceived in this country, and while it might be understandable in parts of the world where the cult of whiteness is supported by majority white rule, that is not the case here. Which means black people are perpetuating this shit. So it stands to reason that if African women were cherished, and taken seriously as equal partners in society we would begin to break down some of the toxic and destructive social issues South Africa faces. If African girls were loved and valued then the rates of rape and femicide would not be not be so crazy. But our lives and contributions are not valued by the world generally and by our own people as well. And while we show up to support the causes of black people and womxn, no one shows up to support us. The black men of all descent; from African, to Indian and Coloured and all the non black womxn need to interrogate how they contribute to this madness.
I wouldn’t change who I am, I love being African and I love being a woman, no matter what anyone does or says. I simply want to be loved for it too.